


Oh fuck, now there's two of them. (Dumbass immortals)

by Chris_Hood



Series: The Doctor and The Devil [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 11 drank his dumb bitch juice in this fic, Jack dies... like alot, no beta we die like men, set mid season 3 Lucifer, set season 7 or late season 6 doctor who but before the angels take Manhattan, the one fic I've made that isn't angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22751188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chris_Hood/pseuds/Chris_Hood
Summary: While scanning for timey whimey disturbances The Doctor picks up a signal from a nightclub in LA, worried that his old 'friend' The Master might be up to something he drops The Ponds off in LA to investigate. When he arrives at the nightclub his suspicions deepen as the man he meets seems to know all about him, doesn't register as human, and has a relic from his past, also he's calling himself The Devil.
Relationships: Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, The Doctor/Lucifer Morningstar (sort of)
Series: The Doctor and The Devil [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635808
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	Oh fuck, now there's two of them. (Dumbass immortals)

It started like any other day on The Tardis, with The Doctor talking a mile a minute about something completely out of their depth.

“And anyways, it’s not like the quantum defibrillator would have worked on him anyways, it was hardly my fault for not realizing that fish anatomy was different than humans and-”

“Doctor.” Amy said, stopping him mid sentence “Rory and I were wondering if we could just go somewhere on Earth today?” He stopped, pausing in his erratic switch flipping before turning to them and grinning wildly.

“Absolutely Ponds, definitely, good idea, how about LA?” Rory looked like he was about to object but The Doctor danced around the console, flicking switches and pressing buttons and pulling a large lever, which sent all of them flying as The Tardis shook.

Rory looked at Amy hopelessly and she shrugged in response as to say ‘I’ll take what I can get, at least he's dropping us off on Earth and not some random alien planet that will inevitably end in us running for our lives’ and Rory shook his head in response like 'Any adventure with The Doctor is bound to end in us running for our lives, why should it stop when we’re on Earth?’ Of course you would only know that that’s what that exchange meant if you had been living with them for a while, which The Doctor had.

He smiled smugly, which probably meant that everything was going according to whatever suspicion plan he had in mind.

When the Tardis landed The Doctor waited patiently for the Ponds to grab some items and change into LA appropriate clothing, and by patiently I mean he stood outside their room pacing the hallway back and forth and every 30 seconds knocked on their door to see if they were done yet.

Eventually Amy got fed up and threw open the door, hitting The Doctor square in the face in the process, he groaned and held his hand to his head, glaring and pouting at the same time at Amy.

“What.” She said angrily and moved to do up the last few buttons on her Hawaiian print t-shirt.

“Are you done yet?” He whined, slumping against the opposite wall and tapping his finger anxiously on his arms.

She glared at him for a few more seconds before her expression softened a bit “Doctor, why are you in such a rush to get us off The Tardis?” She asked

He looked away for a minute, internally weighing the pros and cons of lying to her about what he's found. Looking back at her he stood up more and decided to tell half the truth.

“I- picked up some readings on the scanner, it seems like an old friend of mine might be in town and I need to pay him a visit” So maybe he made the situation sound better than it was, but the Ponds really did seem like they needed a bit of peace and quiet- or what constitutes as peace and quiet as far as adventures with the doctor go. So they didn’t need to get wrapped up in his mess.

But Amy seemed skeptical “You’ve never mentioned having any friends before…” she trailed off, looking back over her shoulder as Rory finished putting together a day bag for them “Are you sure this isn't going to be one of those times where you tell us everything is fine but really it isn't and you go off on your own to do something stupidly dangerous?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

The Doctor gave her a depreciating smile before raising his hands “Promise it’s nothing like that pond, cross my hearts!”

She hummed, almost in agreement but like she needed some more convincing.

“Look, it’s really nothing, I’m just gonna pop in to see him and pop out, it’ll be real quick, won’t take two ticks!” And he gestured to his watch before pushing off the wall and walking back to the console room as Rory approached.

“I hope it takes longer than that, I’ve packed for a whole day.” Rory said, laying a hand on Amy’s shoulder. She turned to smile at him before grabbing his hand and pulling him along gently to follow The Doctor, who had started to rummage around in a box near the door when they entered.

“I should have some- Ah! Here it is!” He turned to smile up at The Ponds brightly, gesturing for them to come down to where he was “American money!” He said proudly, holding a stack of cash and smacking it into Amy’s hand when she got close enough.

She counted the amount and then whistled lowly “Wow, where did you even get all this from Doctor?” She handed the money over to Rory who also in turn counted and raised his eyebrows.

“Used to travel with this bloke named Jack, handed me a bunch of money one time and told me I’d need it one day, guess he was right!” The Doctor said as he laughed quietly, eye distant, like he was reminiscing on fond memories.

“What he just- handed you five thousand dollars?” Rory asked in disbelief

“Yeah….” he whispered before shaking his head and clapping his hands together “Alright ponds! You should have enough there for at least a day of fun!” He exclaimed before snapping his fingers and opening the Tardis doors.

Amy laughed “I think a bit more than a day Doctor” she said as Rory and her walked out onto a sandy pier, she grinned at the sun and smell of the ocean and crunchy sand beneath her feet, a far stretch from what she was used to, but a change she was surprisingly okay with, as long as it was only for a short while. She turned to look at him as Rory walked over to the railing to get a better look at the beach they had landed near.

“Sure you’ll be okay without us, Doctor?” She asks cheekily. He scoffs.

“Of course pond, I’m the king of okay!” She raises her brow at this and he sighs “If anything goes wibbley, I’ll be sure to give you a shout, alright?”

Amy sighed “Alright Raggedy man, I’ll trust you, but just this once” and taps his nose as she says so.

He grins and spins around back into the Tardis shouting “Have fun in LA ponds! Make sure to stay away from Venice Beach! Last time I was there I got attacked by face eating, shape shifting, alien crabs!” before snapping the doors shut and dematerializing.

Rory gives Amy a look from where he's leaning on the railings, next to a sign that says 'Welcome to Venice Beach!’ She looks at the sign before rolling her eyes and saying “I’m sure it’ll be fine”

**Author's Note:**

> (Famous last words...)
> 
> I have to really thank the Thoschei Rights discord server for making most of this fic happen, I know it's early on but a good portion of it has already been written and planned out, and that's thanks to all the brilliant people there being just as excited about a crossover fic like this as I am and spamming the chat with all their ideas and storylines and jokes, so thank all of you so much for that!
> 
> Also thanks to Lime for telling me that if I didnt finish this fic she was going to pour boiling water on me and the worst part.... that I was straight.


End file.
